SORRY, NOT SORRY.

“Live, Travel, Adventure, Bless and don’t be sorry.”

We all feel, especially women, as though we have to apologize – constantly. Even if it isn’t necessary. I know what are you all thinking- “What is that nonsense, anyway?”

Let me tell you- presenting the sorry jar is just as swear jars are meant to clean up foul mouths, this jar is meant to create awareness for an involuntary response that undermines our worth, making us feel like our ideas, questions, and opinions are somehow less valuable.

“To make progress, we have to break some bad habits”

I have learned and paid attention when I apologize. What I found is that I am not sorry. Not all the time, anyway. Not for all the things for which I usually apologize. It feels like a leftover habit from the old times.

I notice this same behavior in so many people. Apologize before speaking up, if sharing an opinion or idea, and even before making completely reasonable requests. Apologies that are notably unnecessary.

Let’s kick this sorry habit once and for all.

We are unapologetically apologetic. But each time we use sorry out of habit, impulse, or in place of something else, we’re stripping it of some of its value. To maintain its weight, as well as our confidence, we have to be more frugal with our sorries. The best way to do this is to ask ourselves: Am I sorry?

Here are a few things that I am no longer sorry for (and thus will stop habitually making apologies for)-

I am not sorry I look the way I do. I am not sorry if anyone finds displeasure in looking at me. I am not sorry for my smallness.

I am not sorry for having feelings or emotions- It’s one of the rarest things for me to speak with all my heart and passion and not shed a tear or two. I have this misogynistic image burned into my head of emotional women “Falling apart.” But speaking through emotions instead of apologizing for them as though your feelings are wrong only adds power to your voice. I am full of emotions, which makes me passionate, driven, and purposeful. They are not weaknesses. I am not sorry.

I am not sorry for the way I dress- I don’t know how many times I have run into some pajamas and immediately apologized for “looking a mess.” When the truth is, I knew damn well what I looked like when I left the house. That was a clear choice. I am not sorry if like to wear loose T-shirts, I choose comfort over hotness. That’s my choice.

I am not sorry if I choose to have male friends rather than female friends. Friendship is a meaningful connection that unites individuals.

“Sorry, not sorry for who I am or how I am”